April 8, 2025 | Washington, D.C. — In a stunning turn of events, former President Donald Trump announced today that he is creating an independent nation called “Trumpland” on a private island in the Caribbean.
At a press conference held at Mar-a-Lago, Trump declared, “The United States doesn’t appreciate me enough, so I’m founding a new country where I’m always president — forever.” Wearing a custom-made crown and a “King of Freedom” sash, Trump revealed that the island had been purchased secretly in 2023 and is already building a gold-plated wall around its borders.
Citizenship will reportedly require proof of loyalty, a lifetime supply of MAGA hats, and a TikTok video pledging allegiance to “Trump, the Eternal Leader.” Sources say Trumpland’s currency will be called the “Trumpcoin,” and the official language will be “Truth.”
International leaders have expressed concern, while Trump supporters are already lining up for “Trumpland Visas,” now selling on eBay for $5,000.
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